Teaching Your Horse That Scary Things Don’t Mean "Run"
The Fall That Changed Everything
You did everything right.
You prayed before you swung a leg over. You’d walked your horse through the pasture. Talked to neighbors. Desensitized. The saddle was new but familiar. He’d been doing so well.
But fear doesn’t ask for your permission before it shows up.
One moment, he was calm. The next, a full Jack-in-the-box panic. You thought the saddle might be slipping. Maybe you clenched. Maybe you moved your hand. Maybe you didn’t do anything at all. You woke up on the ground. Saddle flipped. Helmet cracked. Air vest inflated. And your horse, standing there still as can be.
He didn’t buck. He didn’t rear. But he was gone—and your brain had gone with him.
You’ve done the work. You've been showing up. But even with all that effort, one truth still remains:
If a horse doesn’t trust you when fear hits, he will always leave.
That’s why desensitizing isn’t about showing your horse that scary things exist—it’s about teaching them to stay with you when they show up.
Why Horses Spook—and Why That’s Not the Problem
Horses are wired to flee. It’s in their DNA. The ones that didn’t run got eaten centuries ago.
Your horse’s first reaction to something unfamiliar is to get out of there. And guess what? That’s not bad. It’s natural.
The problem isn’t the spook.
The problem is when your horse doesn’t come back to you—doesn’t stay with you.
So our goal isn’t to shut down the fear. It’s to retrain the instinct.
We want to teach:
“Yes, you’re allowed to feel fear.”
“But you’re not allowed to leave me because of it.”
“Stay. Trust. Let me show you you’re safe.”
That’s what real desensitizing does.
The Lie of Standing Still
Most riders think if the horse is standing still, they’re okay.
Let me be really clear:
Still does not mean safe.
Old-school desensitizing teaches horses to tolerate pressure until they give up. You wave a flag or shake a tarp until they quit reacting. Eventually, they stand still. You think, Success.
But inside? That horse is shut down. They haven’t trusted you. They’ve just learned they can’t escape.
They’re not with you. They’ve left mentally.
And one day—maybe it’s a trailer, maybe it’s a deer, maybe it’s nothing at all—they’re going to explode. And you won’t see it coming.
Desensitizing That Builds Trust
So what does real desensitizing look like?
It’s not flashy. It’s not forceful. And it takes time.
But it works. Here's how:
✦ Start Slow and Stay Connected
Begin with tools your horse already knows—your rope, stick, pad.
Tip their nose toward you. Keep their eyes on you.
Watch for soft signs: licking, chewing, blinking, relaxing.
✦ Don’t Remove Pressure Too Soon
Take the pressure away when they choose connection, not when they freeze.
That may mean waiting through head tossing, pawing, backing up.
When they choose to stay and check in with you—then release.
✦ Use Your Body Language Like a Leader
Relaxed shoulders. Deep breathing. Soft eyes.
Let your horse feel that you're not alarmed, even if they are.
Desensitizing is a dialogue—not a demand.
The Five Types of Desensitizing That Build a Bombproof Bond
This is the heart of the method. We break desensitizing into five practical categories—each one layering on deeper trust.
1. Basic Desensitizing
Get your horse calm around everyday tools:
Stick & string
Lead rope
Saddle, pad, bridle
Jackets, tarps, water bottles
You’re not trying to overwhelm them. You’re saying, This is part of our world. You’re safe here.
2. Advanced Desensitizing
Now we add complexity. Combine stimuli:
Flag + new environment
Tarp + flapping jacket
Visual + sound distractions
This builds their ability to stay with you when multiple “scary” things show up at once.
3. Flag Work
Not to make them stand still. To make them connect.
We use the flag to ask:
Will you stay with me—even when something moves fast near your face?
You don’t want a horse that ignores a flag. You want a horse that says, “I see the flag—and I choose you anyway.”
4. Tarp Work
The tarp is like a flag—but louder, floppier, and underfoot.
We:
Drape it
Send over it
Let it touch and flap
Your horse learns that the ground is still solid. That pressure doesn’t equal danger. That trust is earned when things move under their feet.
5. Desensitizing in Motion
This is the final boss.
Can your horse:
Stay with you at the walk, trot, and canter
While pressure is added
Without disconnecting?
This is where the whole program comes together: direction, willingness, transitions, staying put, and bravery.
But Is Your Horse Really With You?
You can’t always tell by their feet.
Instead, look at their face:
Are they blinking, or frozen wide-eyed?
Is the head low and relaxed, or high and locked?
Are their ears flicking to you—or locked on the “threat”?
Are they breathing deeply—or holding their breath?
A horse that’s with you isn’t just tolerating the moment.
They’re participating in it.
And if they start to disconnect? Tip the nose. Breathe. Come back to center.
Your Fear Matters Too
Let’s talk about the other half of this partnership:
You.
When he blew up, you didn’t freeze—your brain left. You couldn’t hear the cues, couldn’t think straight. And later, you wondered why.
But with Gala? Bigger reactions. Higher jumps. But you stayed calm. You heard the cues. You responded.
The difference wasn’t just the horse.
It was your instinct.
The goal of groundwork is to train your horse's body—but it trains your brain too.
Practice these 3 rider resets:
Breathe audibly. You calm your nervous system and cue your horse.
Say their name. This grounds you and brings connection.
Repeat the ask—even after a failure. You're training your brain to keep trying, not freeze.
You're not just building their courage. You're building yours.
Your Horse Won’t Be Perfect—and That’s the Point
We don’t desensitize to remove the ugly. We do it to reveal the ugly—so we can work through it.
That moment your horse snorts, or bolts, or dances sideways?
That’s not failure.
That’s the moment you’ve been waiting for.
Because that is when you get to teach them what to do next.
Progress isn’t measured by how calm they start.
It’s measured by how quickly they come back to you.
Stop Hoping It Won’t Happen. Train for When It Does.
You can’t bubble-wrap your horse.
You can’t control the wind, or the neighbor’s four-wheeler, or the tarp that wasn’t there yesterday.
But you can control how prepared your horse is to handle it.
And you can train your own brain to stay calm when they don’t.
Ready to Build the Kind of Trust That Doesn’t Shake When Fear Shows Up?
If your horse bolts at shadows…
If you freeze up when things go wrong…
If you’re not sure how to build trust in moments that matter…
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Inside our Unbreakable Bond Elite Membership, you’ll get 1-on-1 coaching, video reviews, weekly mentorship, and a full program built to help you:
Desensitize your horse the right way
Rewire your fear responses
Build the kind of trust that lasts
Let us walk this journey with you—because your horse is worth it, and so are you.
