Stop the Biting Before It Starts
If you’ve ever had a horse turn its head toward you with that look — you know the one — ears pinned back, lips tight, maybe even a flash of teeth… you know how fast your heart jumps. It’s natural to want to back up, pull away, and get out of the way. But what if I told you that reaction — that one moment of stepping back — might actually be feeding the very behavior we’re trying to stop?
Tonight I want to talk about a topic that’s not always fun to face but so important for safety and connection: the horse that bites.
And before we dive in, I want to share a verse that’s been on my heart — from 1 John 5:3:
“For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.”
That verse reminds me of this truth in horsemanship:
Boundaries — real, clear, loving boundaries — aren’t heavy or harsh. They’re an act of love. They keep everyone safe and bring peace to the partnership.
When we set those boundaries clearly and consistently, our horses can relax into our leadership. When we blur those lines, that’s when confusion and danger creep in.
Why the Biting Problem Gets Worse (Before It Gets Better)
Here’s a question I asked during our live call:
Why does a biting problem usually get worse instead of better?
The answer sounds simple, but it’s powerful:
Because we move.
When a horse reaches toward us with its teeth, most of us instinctively step back. We remove the pressure and get out of their space.
And what did we just teach the horse?
That baring teeth works. That we’ll leave when they ask us to — even if they “ask” with bad manners.
In other words, we just rewarded the wrong answer.
And listen — that’s not a criticism. It’s human nature! Nobody wants to stand their ground when a thousand-pound animal looks ready to take a bite. But that’s exactly why we have to train ourselves to lead differently. Leadership doesn’t come from fear. It comes from clarity.
Our horses need to know — gently but firmly — that biting is never an option.
The Power of a Hard Boundary
In our Unbreakable Bond program, we talk a lot about soft leadership — the kind that creates trust instead of tension. But softness doesn’t mean weakness. Some boundaries are what I call hard boundaries.
That means they’re not suggestions. They’re non-negotiable.
Biting is one of those.
A horse that bites is crossing a safety line. It’s the same as a horse that pushes through you or runs you over — it shows confusion about who’s leading. So, just like we teach a horse not to move forward unless we ask, we also teach: “You never, ever, ever bite.”
Clear. Simple. Kind. And consistent.
That’s leadership your horse can trust.
Step One: Build the Backup
The very first tool we use to prevent or correct biting is the backup.
I can’t emphasize this enough — the backup is foundational to everything we do. It’s one of the five pillars of building a bond, and it’s at the heart of every safe, respectful partnership.
Why? Because if your horse can’t reach you… they can’t bite you.
But more than that, the backup teaches your horse to yield to your space — to respect that invisible “bubble” around you.
When you ask your horse to back up and they respond willingly, you’re sending a clear message:
“You move your feet for me — not the other way around.”
That’s not about domination; it’s about communication. You’re reminding your horse who’s responsible for keeping space safe and calm.
So, every time you see that thought of biting — even just a flicker — ask your horse to back up.
Not with anger. Not with panic.
Just with clarity: “No, that’s not allowed. Give me space.”
Step Two: Consistency — Every Time Means Every Time
You can’t give your horse a “sometimes” expectation.
If biting earns a backup on Monday but gets ignored on Wednesday, your horse won’t understand. Horses don’t process gray areas — they live in black and white.
If the rule changes based on our mood or our phone ringing or how tired we are, they get confused. And confusion leads to mistrust.
Every time means every time.
That’s how you build a horse that’s not just obedient, but peaceful — because they know what to expect from you. Clarity is one of the greatest gifts you can give your horse.
And when they know your boundaries, they stop testing them.
Step Three: Be Preemptive — Read the Subtle Signs
A horse doesn’t usually bite out of nowhere.
Before they act, they think about it.
You’ll see it in tiny shifts:
A flick of the ear pinned back
A tightening around the muzzle
A slight lean or stretch of the neck toward you
A shift of weight onto the forehand, ready to move in
Those are your clues — and that’s your moment to step in before it happens.
The earlier you interrupt the thought, the less correction is needed later.
Just a calm, firm backup when you see the first sign tells your horse: “I see that. Not okay.”
No drama. No emotion. Just leadership.
And when you start responding that way every single time, your horse learns to respect the boundary long before it becomes a fight.
Step Four: Keep an Arm’s Length — Respectful Space Is Safe Space
This might sound overly simple, but it’s true:
A horse can only bite you if you let them get close enough to bite.
If your horse has a history of biting or crowding, they haven’t yet earned the right to be in your personal space. Keep them at least an arm’s length away — until they’ve proven they can handle that closeness politely.
That’s not punishment. That’s protection — for both of you.
Because when you step into your horse’s space, that’s a privilege too. You’re entering their bubble. Leadership means inviting them in only when it’s safe to do so.
We can always go to them, but they shouldn’t come to us unless invited.
Just like a good dance partner, they need to wait for your cue.
Step Five: No Hand-Feeding — Stop the Sneaky Entitlement
I know this one can be tough because we love treating our horses. But for a horse that bites, hand-feeding is off the table.
Here’s why:
When you hand-feed, your horse starts associating your body with food — not leadership.
They start nudging, sniffing, and searching your pockets, thinking every visit is snack time. Before long, they’re not connected to you at all. They’re connected to the treat.
That’s not partnership. That’s entitlement.
I once knew a farrier who always carried plums in his pocket. Every time he walked out to a client’s pasture, he’d give a horse a plum. One day, he forgot to bring one — and that horse took a chunk right out of his chest.
It wasn’t malice. It was learned behavior.
That’s why I say: treats are fine when earned, but they should come from a place of respect and timing, not habit or guilt.
You don’t want a horse that’s searching your pockets.
You want one that’s searching your eyes — for direction.
Step Six: Grazing on the Lead — A Hidden Respect Issue
Here’s another one that sneaks up on people: letting your horse graze on a lead rope.
It seems harmless, right? You’re standing there chatting with a friend, your horse drops their head to grab a mouthful, and you think, “Oh, it’s fine. Just this once.”
But here’s the truth — your horse doesn’t know it’s “just this once.”
When they’re on the lead, they’re connected to you. That means their focus should be on you, not on the grass. The moment they start pulling to eat, they’re practicing leading you instead of the other way around.
It creates what I call displaced leadership.
If your horse learns they can make small decisions like where to move or when to stop, that mindset carries over to bigger moments — like spooking, crowding, or biting.
So keep it clear:
When the halter’s on, we’re working together.
When the halter’s off, you can relax and be a horse.
Clarity builds calm. Calm builds trust.
Step Seven: Watch for Connection — Not Compliance
Now, this is important: correction without connection is just control.
Our goal isn’t to make our horse afraid to bite — it’s to make them not want to.
That happens when they feel safe, understood, and led with consistency.
A good leader doesn’t react to a bite with punishment. They respond with presence.
When you calmly back your horse away and remind them of your space, you’re not just enforcing a rule — you’re showing them, “I’m steady. You can trust me.”
And that trust is what stops biting before it ever starts.
Step Eight: Grace and Growth for You Both
Here’s where I want to encourage you — and I said this to the group during our call: You’re not going to hit the mark every single time. None of us do.
There are days you’ll miss the moment or let something slide because you’re tired, or distracted, or on the phone. It happens. What matters most is that you notice it and come back with intention next time.
Because consistency isn’t perfection — it’s persistence.
Your horse isn’t looking for flawless technique. They’re looking for a steady heart. One that says, “You can count on me to mean what I say.”
That’s what true leadership looks like — both in the round pen and in life.
Step Nine: Correction Without Emotion
One thing I love to remind riders of: it’s not personal.
When a horse bites, they’re not trying to “get back at you.” They’re communicating discomfort, confusion, or habit. Just like a boss mare out in the pasture will fire off a quick kick to say, “Nope, not today,” and then go back to grazing beside her herd — she’s not angry. She’s just clear.
That’s how we should be.
Firm. Fair. Consistent.
No grudges. No overreaction.
That’s what your horse understands best. That’s leadership that feels safe.
Step Ten: The Reward of Clear Leadership
When you stay consistent with these boundaries:
Your horse stops testing as often.
Their respect deepens.
Your safety increases.
Your connection grows stronger.
Pretty soon, that horse that used to bite starts watching you differently — with softness instead of suspicion.
Because here’s the truth: Boundaries don’t break bonds. They build them.
And just like that verse said, God’s commandments aren’t burdensome — they’re protective.
When your horse knows what’s right and wrong, they can rest in peace. They can follow your lead confidently, without guessing what mood you’re in today.
That’s what love looks like in leadership — clarity, consistency, and calm direction.
Bringing It All Together
So to recap:
Stop the Biting Before It Starts:
Build a strong, consistent backup response.
Be preemptive — catch the thought before it becomes action.
Keep your horse an arm’s length away until they’ve earned closeness.
Don’t hand-feed or let them graze on the lead.
Stay calm and consistent every single time.
These steps may seem simple, but they reshape the relationship from the inside out. Because when your horse respects your space, they’re not just learning rules — they’re learning that you’re worth following.
And that’s what creates safety, softness, and a bond that lasts.
💡 Remember:
You can’t control what your horse feels, but you can shape what they understand.
And when they understand that your space is sacred, biting will disappear — not through fear, but through trust.
Final Thoughts
Don’t be discouraged if your horse has some bad habits. Every horse can learn new boundaries, and every rider can learn new consistency. The key is to lead with confidence, clarity, and love.
As I like to say, “You can’t fix what you don’t first notice — but once you see it, you can start changing it.”
And that’s the beauty of this journey. We’re not just training horses. We’re learning how to lead — with peace, purpose, and grace.
🌿 Want to feel safer and more confident in the saddle?
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