One Exercise, Endless Benefits: How Sending Covers All Five Pillars of Connection
If there’s one exercise I could put in every rider’s tool bag, it would be this one. Not because it’s fancy or flashy. Not because it’s some complicated trick that’ll impress people at a clinic. But because of what it does—not just physically, but mentally and relationally—for both the horse and the rider.
It’s called the sending exercise, and it’s one of the most misunderstood tools in horsemanship.
A lot of folks hear the word “sending” and immediately think of lunging. You picture a horse galloping around the end of a lunge line, sweating buckets, doing 20 circles until they’re too tired to say no.
But that’s not what we’re after.
This isn’t about getting your horse tired enough to obey. It’s about teaching your horse to think, to wait, to listen, and to trust. Sending—when done with intention—covers all five pillars of the Unbreakable Bond: Change, Communication, Connection, Confidence, and Calmness.
Let’s break it down.
Pillar 1: Change – Teach Your Horse to Handle the Unexpected
Every time we send a horse, we’re teaching them to handle transitions. That might sound like a small thing—but transitions are the foundation of adaptability.
And adaptability is how you keep a horse from panicking.
You’re not just sending them around a circle. You’re working transitions between gaits: walk, trot, canter, back down again. You’re sending them from one direction to the other. You’re taking them from the round pen to the arena, from the arena to the pasture, from the pasture to a hill or a new trail.
You're saying, “Change is okay. I’ve got you. Let’s handle it together.”
Too many horses live in a mental rut. They do okay until something shifts—then they melt down. Sending pulls them out of that rut, gently and consistently. And when you approach it with clarity, your horse learns that change doesn’t mean chaos.
Change just means, “Listen to me.”
Pillar 2: Communication – Build a Language You Both Understand
Most horses don’t misbehave because they’re defiant. They misbehave because they’re confused.
Sending gives you a shared language.
Instead of point-and-pray lunging, sending breaks down into clear, methodical steps:
Back up – Place the horse on a safe, respectful arc.
Move the front end over – Establish spatial awareness and direction.
Drive from behind – Invite forward motion with soft, intentional energy.
And here’s the secret: you don’t go faster than your horse can think.
If your horse rushes through a step, you stop, reset, and do it again. Why? Because we’re not just teaching the mechanics. We’re teaching the conversation.
When your horse starts anticipating, it means they’re guessing—not listening. We want a horse who waits for the cue. That’s what keeps them from blowing through pressure or making decisions that put you both at risk.
You’re saying, “Don’t guess. Just stay with me. I’ll tell you what’s next.”
Pillar 3: Connection – Lead with Clarity and Softness
Connection isn’t about being dominant. It’s about being clear.
When your horse understands what you’re asking and feels your attentiveness, they connect.
That’s why we break sending into pieces and wait for softness before progressing. That’s why we use our breath and body language to guide them into new gaits and back down again. That’s why we give the horse a chance to feel successful, to understand that being close to you—mentally and physically—is a good place to be.
I’d rather see five beautiful transitions in ten minutes than fifty disconnected laps.
A connected horse isn’t just obedient—they’re attentive. They’re not just following the pattern—they’re following you.
And when you’ve got that kind of connection? Everything else starts to click into place.
Pillar 4: Confidence – Build It with Transitions, Not Tension
Here’s a myth we’ve gotta bust: that riding a horse hard builds confidence.
You don’t get a smoother trot by trotting endlessly. You don’t get a better canter by just cantering more. All that does is reinforce poor movement.
Want to know the real key to balance and softness?
Transitions.
Every time a horse moves up or down between gaits, they have to engage their hind end. They have to think. They have to coordinate their movement. And they start building muscle and awareness that makes those gaits feel better—smoother, easier, lighter.
Plus, transitions build anticipation for the rider’s cue. That creates confidence on both sides of the lead rope.
This kind of confidence lasts longer than adrenaline. It shows up in new places, in tougher situations, when other horses are losing their minds.
Your horse remembers: “I’ve handled changes before. I can handle this one too.”
Pillar 5: Calmness – Desensitize with Purpose
Sending does something most groundwork exercises can’t: it calms the horse while they move.
A lot of people try to desensitize their horses by flooding them with scary things. And while it’s important to expose your horse to the world, it’s even more important to do it in a way that doesn’t fry their nervous system.
That’s where sending shines.
You’re not just throwing tarps at their face and hoping they don’t panic. You’re guiding them into motion—so they can release that energy while staying attentive to your leadership. You’re letting them see the tarp from the left eye and the right eye, smell it, move past it, and realize: Hey… maybe it’s not so bad.
You’re saying, “Keep moving. I’m with you. Let’s figure it out together.”
You’re also working their brain in unfamiliar places—on hillsides, near barns, behind trailers, over obstacles—so they’re learning to trust you in motion. That kind of calmness carries over into trail rides, show days, group events, or emergencies.
And when the wind picks up or a plastic bag flies across the paddock? Your horse doesn’t explode.
They look at you.
Action Steps: How to Use Sending with Purpose
If you want to see real results from this exercise, here’s how to start:
✅ Break it Down Into Steps
Always start by backing your horse up onto the arc of the circle.
Move their front end over to establish direction.
Drive forward from the hindquarters.
Pause between each step. Count to three. Don’t rush.
✅ Work Transitions, Not Time
Focus on walk → trot → walk → halt transitions instead of endless laps.
Breathe them down into slower gaits. Use your body to invite softness.
Aim for 50 transitions, not 50 minutes.
✅ Change the Location
Start in a round pen, but don’t stay there forever.
Move to the arena. The pasture. The paddock. A gentle slope. The edge of the woods.
Let your horse learn that movement and clarity apply everywhere—not just one “safe” spot.
✅ Use It for Desensitizing
Take your horse near something new (like a tarp, bridge, or trailer).
Let them move around it with sending, rather than freeze up.
Watch for signs they’re checking in with you—then offer a rest.
This Is Why We Call It a Foundation
Sending isn’t just a warm-up. It’s not just an obedience drill. It’s the single most versatile, adaptable groundwork tool I know—and it covers every major area of the Unbreakable Bond.
Want a braver horse?
Want a horse who listens?
Want smoother transitions under saddle?
Want to feel safer and more connected in any environment?
It starts here.
Sending builds that trust, step by step. And when it’s done right, it can transform everything.
You don’t have to live with fear in the saddle.
Learn the simple, proven process to build confidence and stay safe with your horse—starting today.
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