Why Pushy Horses Aren’t Really Stubborn
If you’ve ever worked with a horse that drags its feet, leans into you, or seems to ignore every cue, you know how frustrating it can feel. Many riders label these horses as stubborn—like they’re being willfully difficult. But here’s the truth: most pushy, “lazy” horses aren’t being stubborn at all. They’re simply doing what makes sense to them in the absence of clear leadership.
Horses are wired to look for direction. In a herd, there’s always a leader who sets boundaries and makes decisions. If that leadership isn’t clear from you, your horse will naturally fill the gap—usually by testing, pushing, or tuning you out. What looks like stubbornness is actually a cry for guidance. The good news? With the right approach, you can provide the clarity your horse is begging for and build a deeper bond in the process.
The Three Keys to Unlocking Your Pushy Horse
Over the years, I’ve seen one principle hold true: dull, lazy horses need more clarity, not less. And there are three ways to give it to them:
Adequate pressure
Consistency
Preemptive leadership
Let’s break each of these down.
Adequate Pressure: The Power of Front Loading
Most people shy away from giving their horse what I call adequate pressure. They worry they’ll scare their horse or come across as harsh. So instead, they tiptoe in with light, gradual cues. For dull horses, that’s the worst thing you can do. Here’s why:
Gradual pressure desensitizes. If you start with a “tap-tap” that your horse ignores, you’re actually teaching them that your cues don’t mean anything. Over time, they’ll get duller, not sharper.
Adequate pressure creates clarity. Instead of climbing the scale slowly, begin at the level you know will get a response. For many dull horses, that’s a five or six on a scale of ten. This is what I call front loading.
Release is the real reward. The moment your horse tries—even if the try is small—let go of the pressure completely. Breathe, rub, and give them a few seconds to process. That’s what makes the lesson stick.
Think of adequate pressure as speaking clearly in a language your horse understands. You’re not yelling—you’re simply making sure they hear you the first time.
Action Step: Practice the Backup
Stand facing your horse.
Apply firm, clear pressure on the lead rope (or use your steady stick) right away.
The instant your horse even starts to step back, release fully.
Don’t confuse avoidance (swinging sideways, tossing their head) with a real try. Stick with them until you see genuine effort.
The key is fairness: clear ask, clear release.
Consistency: Building Trust Through Repetition
Pushy horses are masters at finding loopholes. If you let something slide once, they’ll try it again—and again. That’s why consistency matters so much. Every interaction, every cue, needs to carry the same meaning.
What Consistency Looks Like
Same technique every time. Don’t change your method from day to day. Horses aren’t cookie cutters, but clarity comes from predictable communication.
Multiple ways to teach, but one at a time. For example, teach the backup at a distance first, then up close with a thumb on the chest, then later from the saddle. Don’t rush to mix them all at once.
Simple steps. Break lessons into small, digestible chunks. When your horse grasps “A,” then move to “B.”
Consistency isn’t boring—it’s freeing. It removes the gray areas that cause mistrust and confusion.
Action Step: Test Your Consistency
Pick one exercise—say, moving the shoulder over. For one week, use the exact same cue every time you ask. Write down how quickly your horse responds on day one compared to day seven. Chances are, you’ll see sharper responses just from your consistency.
Preemptive Leadership: Correcting Before It Happens
One of the biggest mistakes riders make is waiting until the horse is already doing the wrong thing before correcting. By then, it’s harder to fix—and often feels unfair to the horse.
Horses always show their intentions before they act. They rock back before stepping back. They shift a shoulder before cutting in on a circle. They dip their head before grabbing grass on the trail. Preemptive leadership means you notice these signals and address them before they turn into action.
How to Be Preemptive
Watch body mechanics. Notice weight shifts, ear flicks, or subtle bends. They’re clues to what’s coming next.
Interrupt patterns early. If your horse thinks about dropping their head to graze, slide your hand down the rein and redirect immediately—don’t wait until their nose is buried.
Release preemptively, too. The moment your horse thinks about the right answer, soften your ask. Early releases build confidence and willingness.
Action Step: Trail Manners
Next time you’re on the trail, practice catching your horse thinking about eating grass. Slide your hand down the rein, give a gentle redirect, then relax. This keeps their focus on you without turning into a tug-of-war.
Why Tools Aren’t the Enemy
Many riders hesitate to use tools like the steady stick, worrying it’s unkind. But the right tools, used fairly, create clarity. A steady stick isn’t about hitting harder—it’s about extending your communication in a safe, effective way. It’s hollow, it bounces, and it’s far kinder than leaving your horse confused.
What feels harsh in the moment (a sudden, clear ask) often prevents far more frustration for both you and your horse. Remember: fairness lives in the release, not in holding back the ask.
Recognize and Embrace Your Horse’s Uniqueness
It’s easy to get discouraged with dull, lazy horses. They test you. They can wear you out. But they’re not broken, and they’re not stubborn. They simply need more clarity, more consistency, and more preemptive leadership than some of their counterparts.
Your horse’s personality is not a mistake—it’s a gift. The very challenges that frustrate you are the same ones that will sharpen your leadership, deepen your patience, and strengthen your bond.
So instead of wishing your horse was different, lean into the uniqueness you’ve been given. Build habits of clarity, reward every try, and celebrate progress—no matter how small. One day you’ll look back and realize that what once felt impossible has become second nature.
Bringing It All Together
Pushy horses aren’t stubborn—they’re searching for leadership. When you:
Use adequate pressure from the start,
Stay consistent in your cues, and
Lead preemptively by catching behaviors before they happen,
—you give your horse the clarity they crave. In return, you gain a willing partner who looks to you for guidance instead of tuning you out.
Every horse, dull or sensitive, is waiting for one thing: a leader worth following. Be that leader, and you’ll find the trust and softness you’ve been searching for.
Call to Action
You don’t have to live with fear or frustration in the saddle. Learn the simple, proven process to build confidence and stay safe with your horse—starting today.
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