Catch Me If You Can
If you’ve ever walked out to the pasture with a halter in your hand… and your horse looked up like, “Absolutely not,” then calmly walked away—yeah, this one’s for you.
Tonight’s topic is the hard-to-catch horse. But here’s what I want you to hear right up front:
This isn’t about getting in there and getting a halter on them.
This is about your horse allowing you to catch them.
This is about your horse realizing, deep down, that the best place to be is with you.
And when you really think about that… that’s the whole goal.
Because in Unbreakable Bond, we’re not in the business of forcing, tricking, or “finally getting them caught.” We’re building a relationship where your horse chooses to make a good decision. Where they choose connection.
So instead of making your mission, “I’ve got to catch my horse,” I want you to flip the whole thing:
Don’t focus on catching your horse.
Focus on your horse catching you.
A verse for the rider who’s tired of chasing
I always like to connect these topics back to scripture, because it helps anchor our mindset.
Psalm 119:32 says:
“I will run the path of your commandments, for you will enlarge my heart.”
I love that. Because it speaks to this idea of willingness—of choosing a path because your heart has changed.
And that is exactly what we’re after with the hard-to-catch horse: not “how do I corner them,” but how do I enlarge their willingness to be with me?
Why your horse won’t get caught isn’t random
Horses don’t do things “just because.” There’s always a root.
And if we don’t go to the root, we end up doing what a lot of people do:
using too much pressure,
staying in the pressure too long,
getting frustrated,
getting sneaky (hiding the halter behind your back),
or turning catching into a battle.
And the horse learns one lesson:
Being with you is uncomfortable.
Even if you don’t mean it that way.
It’s the same reason a horse paws. Yes, they’re impatient… but why?
Because their mind is somewhere else.
They’re not connected with you in that moment. They’d rather be over there with their buddies, or out in the pasture, or doing anything except standing with you.
Hard-to-catch horses are the same way.
They’re saying, “I’d rather be somewhere else than with you.”
So we’re not just fixing “catching.” We’re fixing connection.
The mindset that changes everything: break the engagement before they do
Here’s a huge principle that applies to catching and a lot of other problems:
If your horse is the one that breaks engagement—walks off first, leaves first, disconnects first—
then they’re learning that leaving is their idea.
And the more your horse practices leaving, the easier leaving becomes.
So what we want to teach is the opposite:
“I connect with my human… and then my human releases me.”
That teaches your horse that connection is safe.
And that’s where the approach-and-retreat exercise becomes pure gold.
Step 1: Approach & Retreat for the horse that avoids you
If your horse won’t let you catch them, start here.
This is especially effective for that “indifferent” horse… the one that acts standoffish, like they don’t care. They’re not exploding—they’re just quietly saying, “No thanks.”
How to do it
Approach calmly
Walk with a relaxed cadence and energy.
Don’t march in aggressively.
But also: don’t tiptoe.
We never want to tiptoe around our horses. They need to get used to real life: footsteps, movement, noise.
Watch for the smallest sign of softening
In the beginning, it’ll be subtle:
a slight head tip toward you
stopping their feet
lowering the head
one eye softening on you
a pause where they choose to look instead of leaving
That counts. That’s connection.
The moment you get that softening—retreat
Back away.
Why? Because you’re teaching:
“I’m not a threat.”
“You can connect with me and nothing bad happens.”
The key rule
You only retreat when they engage.
Because if you retreat when they’re walking away, you’re rewarding the leaving.
You’re breaking engagement before they do, so they learn that staying connected is safe—and even rewarding.
What happens next (and it’s pretty cool)
Some horses will eventually start coming toward you on their own.
Not all. But some will.
And when it happens, that’s your first proof that the idea is working:
Your horse’s mind is starting to chase you.
Step 2: Ease into haltering without tricking your horse
Once your horse is comfortable standing with you—soft, calm, present—then you can start easing into the halter.
And I’m going to say this plainly:
Don’t hide the halter
No sneaking it behind your back. No “gotcha.”
That teaches your horse not to trust you.
If your horse learns, “Every time I connect, I get trapped,” guess what they’ll stop doing?
Connecting.
A better way: normalize the halter like it’s no big deal
One of my favorite strategies is simply carrying the halter and lead around during normal life:
Carry it while you feed.
Carry it while you do chores.
Let the horse see it and hear it without it becoming a “capture tool.”
You’re taking the emotional charge out of it.
The next step: rub with one hand, hold halter with the other
Don’t touch them with it yet.
Just:
rub your horse with one hand,
hold the halter quietly in the other,
and act like it’s normal.
When they’re okay with that, then you can start:
rubbing them with the halter,
gradually bringing it higher,
letting them see it, feel it, hear it.
And when I say gradual… I mean gradual.
For some horses, getting haltered is a big deal. Don’t rush past the part where they’re finally soft.
Step 3: Use the “float with them” mindset instead of releasing too soon
When you’re teaching the halter process (or anything really), your horse may start to shift away.
This is where people either:
clamp down and get forceful, or
give up and retreat at the wrong time.
What we want is what I call floating with them.
That simply means:
You keep the same light, steady intention,
and you move with them so that leaving doesn’t remove the pressure.
Not brute force. Not yanking.
Just calm consistency.
Your horse learns:
“Moving away doesn’t solve this… but softening does.”
One crucial detail once the halter is on: tip the nose toward you
Once your horse is haltered, you want their nose slightly tipped toward you.
A “tip” is a very small movement. Subtle.
But it matters because it prevents that “turn away and leave” motion.
Important:
If the head is tipped in, don’t hold it.
This isn’t about making them sustain it forever. It’s about establishing the idea:
“Face me. Stay with me.”
If they lose it, tip again and release.
The exercise that reinforces “come to me”: the Yo-Yo
If you want a horse that catches you, you need a horse that knows how to draw in.
That’s where the yo-yo is powerful.
What it teaches
Connection with you
Willingness to come toward you
Response to light pressure
Reward for the try
How to start
Back your horse up a couple steps
Take a deep breath and soften your energy
Use light pressure to draw them in
Look for one step (or even a lean)
Some horses—especially early on—may only give a “try”:
a weight shift forward
a lean
a thought
Reward it.
Release as soon as they try.
Because if you reward the try, you build the confidence that creates the step.
And when they start stepping in willingly, you’ll feel the whole relationship change. Catching becomes less like hunting and more like… meeting up.
Step 4: Draw & Send creates the “vacuum” that makes your horse want you
Once your horse is reliably catching and haltering, there’s another layer that strengthens this dramatically:
Draw & Send.
Draw them in. Love on them. Send them out. Draw them in again.
This does two major things:
1) It proves they’re connected
If your horse can leave and return without drama, you know their mind is with you.
2) It establishes boundaries and respect for space
This matters more than people realize.
A horse that crowds you, climbs on you, rubs all over you—people call it cute.
But it’s not good manners, and it can become dangerous fast.
Boundaries make horses safer. For you and for them.
One caveat (really important)
If your horse is hard to catch right now…
Only work on the drawing in.
Don’t sacrifice “being with you” by sending them away too soon.
First: make “with me” the best place.
Then: add the boundaries once connection is solid.
Liberty work: teaching your horse to come to you from a distance
Eventually, you can start working toward your horse choosing you at liberty—no halter, no lead.
Start small:
a 40-foot round pen is great
small area first, then expand later
The liberty pattern
Apply enough pressure to move their feet (steady stick, body pressure, etc.)
Immediately soften: lower the stick, lower your energy, deep breath
Invite the draw:
“pull their eye” (get their attention)
stand where they can see you
use calm energy like you’re drawing a lead rope that isn’t there
cluck/kiss lightly if needed
Reward the smallest try
If they:
look at you,
tip the head,
soften the eye,
shift toward you…
That’s a win.
You can go rub and love on them.
Because you’re reinforcing the message:
Being with me is where peace is.
And when they come in? Make it a big deal in your affection.
That’s how you create the vacuum. The draw.
Their mind starts chasing you instead of the other way around.
The part most people skip: don’t advance faster than connection
This is where I want to wrap it all together:
Just because you can catch your horse doesn’t mean you should.
There have been plenty of times you could wrestle it into happening.
But we want it done the right way.
Use this as your filter
Don’t go any farther in your work than your horse is connected.
If they’re nervous, anxious, confused—slow down.
Confusion isn’t “bad behavior.”
Sometimes they’re just confused, just like you would be.
Work with them until:
they soften,
they’re calm,
they’re no longer worried,
and their attention is with you.
And remember: your energy matters.
If you’re tense, frustrated, or rushing… they feel it.
Stay soft. Stay relaxed. Stay calm.
Because if you want your horse to choose you, you’ve got to become a place that feels good to choose.
Action steps you can take this week (without overcomplicating it)
Here’s a simple plan you can follow:
1) Stop making “catching” the mission
Make connection the mission.
2) Do 5 minutes of Approach & Retreat
walk in calmly
watch for softening
retreat immediately when they engage
Repeat until they’re standing soft with you.
3) Normalize the halter
carry it during chores
hold it while you rub them
don’t sneak it
don’t rush
4) Build “draw in” with the Yo-Yo
Reward one step. Reward the try. Rinse and repeat.
5) Only add “send away” once catching is solid
First the draw. Then the boundaries.
6) If something feels “off,” listen
If your horse suddenly changes:
ear pinning
nipping
girthiness
avoiding halter
head tossing
Don’t write it off as “training.” Check the root.
Sometimes the root is emotional.
Sometimes it’s physical.
Either way, the solution starts with paying attention.
Your horse doesn’t need you to be faster. They need you to be clearer.
You don’t have to out-run your horse.
You just have to out-lead the pattern.
And when you teach your horse that:
connection is safe,
your pressure is light,
your timing is fair,
and being with you is the best deal…
Catching stops being a chase.
It becomes a choice.
You don’t have to live with fear, frustration, or that sinking feeling when your horse walks off the second you show up. The safest, most confident riders aren’t the ones who “finally win” the catching battle—they’re the ones who learn how to build connection first.
👉 Watch the Free Training (https://steadyhorse.com)
